Tremor

The world reverberates...as do I...

Photo by Jakov Zadro.

There is a tremor in my hands
In the earth
In humanity
The collective soul quakes
In anticipation, fear and rage

The veil falls away
The stage curtain is pulled back
And now we “know”
What we always knew anyway
Denial is a beautiful thing

The ants go marching into doom
Huzzah Hurrah
I want so much to be quiet
And still
But I shake from within

What will be will be…but what will I be?
When all is said and done?
Will I fall in line
For the sake of survival and comfort?
For the sake of perceived peace?

I cannot unknow what I know
Unsee what I have seen
I cannot live a lie
My spirit won’t allow it…I cannot be silent
But is it hubris or am I afraid?

My hands shake…my soul shudders
I burn from the inside
Yet I am one of the privileged
The world has been quaking long before
I stopped to feel its tremor

Am I Katniss or Coin?
Am I Gelfling or Skeksis?
Am I a Mother of Dragons riding into the city?
Or a General on a starship carting stolen plans across the universe?
I feel I am watching reality TV from safe within the Capitol

I’ve stood before hundreds, on a stage
And asked the question
Who do I want to be today?
Who do I want to be today?
Who do I want to be today?

I lift my hands up to the sun
I feel the shiver on the wind
I try to breathe and be still
But my rage is my light
I always choose to fight

I drown in outpourings of grief and anger
It soaks into my pores
It is nothing new for many
But for others the wounds are fresh
And the tremor feels like an earthquake

I sit here listening to the wind outside
And a gale rises
The trees lash at the windows
There is no peace
Within or without

In my little hideaway
Far from the turmoil of so many
Meditating on the dread and the rage
I feel my heart harden
And I am quietly radicalised.

x

Lucy